quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
