He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
