If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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