hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
