I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
