Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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