a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
