When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
