somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
