It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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