Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it glows. i had to have it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
