dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
