who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
