If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
And the cops told us we were all naked.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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