My first STD was from a foam party
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
