$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
