i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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