i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
