We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
