I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
