Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
