I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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