That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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