their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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