I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
