so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dignity is for republicans.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
