Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
