i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
