When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
