come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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