Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
