I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
