You made me cry and you don't even care
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
