just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I smell like Dick and happiness
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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