In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
