That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
