Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
