I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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