Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
bring money and cleavage
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
