I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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