So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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