apparently the secret to your success is patron
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
