just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
