You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
