my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
