Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
