I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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