i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
