okay pat passed out under dana's car
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
