The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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