I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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