I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
