they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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