just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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