Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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