...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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